This book, Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance, describes my life so well it's eerie. I was born in Middletown, OH, into a Hillbilly Elegy. Some of the stories J.D. Vance told in this book could have been my own.Like Vance, I worked my entire life to overcome and rise above my Hillbilly Elegy. I wanted something more than the despair and unreasonable use of alcohol I saw all around me growing up.
Fortunately for me, only half my family had the full Hillbilly Elegy in force. My mother and my maternal grandmother defied the odds of their Hillbilly Elegy by rising above it and insisting on more civilized behavior, which resulted in a more civilized lifestyle. Neither of them drank alcohol, even though both their husbands did. I don't recall my maternal grandfather ever drinking in their house and I would be hard pressed to remember ever seeing a beer in their refrigerator. It was an unspoken truth, known by everyone in the family, that my grandmother did not tolerate drinking in her house; we all knew our grandpa did his drinking out in the barn. I remember her not allowing my dad to bring beer to family dinners we had there.
My mother and her mother gave hope beyond our own Hillbilly Elegy and for that I am beyond grateful. They couldn't undo or overcome all of it, however, but the hope they planted grew, giving us something better to pass on to our kids and grandkids.
They are little things, really. Like going to the dentist. As kids, we never went to the dentist, but we regularly ate "sugar sandwiches." I remember brushing my teeth only at night growing up. I did not see a dentist myself until my oldest child was seven years old and I had a really bad toothache. But, even then, I was already taking my kids to regular dental check-ups and cleanings. It might have been too late for some of my teeth, but my kids were going to keep theirs.
As a kid, the only doctor I ever saw was the eye doctor and that was because, when I was three years old, my mother realized I couldn't see. So, I started wearing glasses at age three and went to the eye doctor every year to get a stronger prescription.
We got some immunizations, but I got most of mine at school or a county office. People with a Hillbilly Elegy didn't go to the doctor unless there was something wrong. We did not do "well visits" outside of newborn status. When I became a Mom in 1982, I was shocked by how many times the doctor wanted to see my baby boy.
J.D. Vance captured all this in Hillbilly Elegy and more. The book became very personal to me, not only because it described much of my life to a T, but because my oldest sister gave it to me after reading it herself and wanted me to read it, too. I passed it on to one of my sons, who has promised to read it. I want my kids to understand where I came from.
Even though the book is filled with some of the worst cussing imaginable, it's still something I recommend because the cussing was an absolute part of the story; that's how some of my relatives talk to this day. My mother and her mother did not indulge in the cussing, however, and in refraining, they brought a higher level of thinking to our Hillbilly Elegy, leading toward another step up.
I no longer try to hide the fact that I have a Hillbilly Elegy. Say what you will about the Hillbillies I came from, but they are hard working, proud people who would never take a dime from the government. They might waste money on cigarettes and booze, but it was their money to waste, not Uncle Sam's. That's one part of my Hillbilly Elegy I'm proud of. Family helped family; I remember my maternal grandpa helping my mom with groceries to feed us kids when my dad had spent his paycheck gambling or drinking....or both. Family helped family even when they might try to kill them the next day. Nobody went to Uncle Sam.
I highly recommend this book. Vance exposes the opioid crisis Middletown, OH, faces today and his efforts to help residents climb above their hillbilly elegy. You can get a copy here.
~Tricia,
Y
our little Hillbilly friend
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